This is the truest saying ever!
In March, I was confused. A heady confusion – I couldn’t even finish the post from my giddiness. A teen flame turned great friend started sending mix signals my way. At first, I brushed it off, as my sexually deprived self has a way of seeing things that are not there but then my friends were picking up on it as well and there was no denying what even Stevie Wonder could’ve seen.
I questioned the universe, like, Dear Universe, is that what you want for me? Are you placing this man in my life (again) for a reason? Could he be the one? Now, we were pretty compatible (at least I thought so), finishing each others thoughts and sentences – and quite driven – the cuteness was “tew much”
Noting the chemistry and burning attraction that was blossoming and overflowing between me and the gentleman, I decided to take the plunge and explore what was there, since it seemed like he was waiting on my cue to do so as well. In my ever so extra self, and trying to show him my sophisticated romantic side, I prepared a fancy wine and cheese spread for two, lit some candles, threw on a flick and invited him over. To say that he was impressed with my candidness would be minimal. I got the nod of approval and so I thought, this must be it.
Now, let me digress a bit. This guy who is my Ex now turned great friend, has a girlfriend but, knowing him to be a person with integrity who stood for all the right things, I thought that if we were heading down that road, that his dame was probably let off the hook or at least soon to be. Boy, was i wrong in my judgement.
Continuing, the romantic evening went waaay better than I planned. To be honest, my 30 year old self wasn’t looking for anything past a make-out sesh but I ended up getting the whole 9 yards (literally) ,and it was one of the nicest encounters I’ve had. There’s always something extra special when your body and heart are intertwined…that drunk in love feeling.
So it was done! That had to be it! Teenage Ex and I are back together! That was me inside my head and to my close friends. Except, teenage Ex hit it and disappeared the next day like Casper.. I wasn’t having it though. Three days later when I realized exactly what was happening (there’s a pattern to the hit it and quit it act) i reached out, in my chummiest of moods and proposed we meet up to chat. after all, we were “friends” and I was hoping he’d feel obliged to explain wtf just happened.
We met up, zero weirdness but the moment the conversation started I realized things would not swing in my favor. He literally started by saying, “you’re a nice person but..” – that was enough for me to wish a hole would open somewhere and suck me in. Turned out that teenage Ex was still in a relationship and madly in love with his bonnie lass who lived in a different country and; blamed the time we were spending together and the familiarity of old times for what went down between us. That wasn’t the worse of the rejection. The worst was when he said to me, “you do not tick my fundamental boxes for what i’m looking for in a relationship”……mic drop.
How can one come back from that? those words knocked the wind out of me. Here was someone who I’ve been with before, who was supposed to be my friend, who I’ve confiding info on my dating blunders to; someone who always told me, “you’re such a great catch, these guys are fools to let you go”, and now, suddenly, with the same lips is telling me, I don’t tick his fundamental boxes. All the signals then? At least he confessed that it wasn’t my mind blowing things out of proportion. Still, to think that i was used just so that he can see that his bonnie lass is the one, that’s just low down and dirty.
That was definitely the end of that “friendship”. Yet another blunder to live through and learn from..
Dear Ivy... 